1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,545 We appreciate you taking the time to sit down with us. 2 00:00:03,629 --> 00:00:06,673 I'm gonna be honest with you, I'm just here to pick up my morning cinnamon bun. 3 00:00:06,757 --> 00:00:09,343 Actually, we requested this meeting because we want you to purchase-- 4 00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,970 -No. -Let me finish. Damn. 5 00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:15,807 We'd like you to purchase some floor mats. We stand all day making 600 lunches. 6 00:00:15,891 --> 00:00:18,268 You ever seen my gait? It is off. 7 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:21,104 Principal Coleman, your turn now for rebuttal. 8 00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:22,189 Now, why are you here? 9 00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:25,359 I'm an experienced mediator. Head of a bull, body of a man. 10 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,069 That's a minotaur, not a mediator. 11 00:00:27,152 --> 00:00:28,362 So that's your position? 12 00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,113 Kitchen staff, care to rebut? 13 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:31,365 You don't know these bunions. 14 00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:34,743 Look� [sighs] �my heels have never come within three inches of this school floor, 15 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:37,704 so if I can do that, I'm sure y'all will be totally fine. 16 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,832 Nothing else? No further comments? 17 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:42,709 That's how it's done. 18 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:45,837 Now it's time to focus on my next big mediation, 19 00:00:45,921 --> 00:00:47,631 brokering peace in the Middle West. 20 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,551 That's what I call the dispute between Michigan and Ohio State. 21 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:52,761 [? "Hold 'Em" playing] 22 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:08,026 Jesus! I got rain in places you're not supposed to have rain in. 23 00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,695 Talking about my pockets. 24 00:01:09,778 --> 00:01:10,988 Holy moly. 25 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:14,366 -It just started pouring out there. -[Janine] Seriously. 26 00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:15,450 [Barbara groans] 27 00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:17,452 -Oh, Barb, your hair is-- -What? 28 00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:18,996 Not something I should be commenting on. 29 00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,039 -[door opens] -Oh, God. 30 00:01:21,123 --> 00:01:22,583 -[footsteps approaching] -Wha-- 31 00:01:22,666 --> 00:01:23,709 Where should I set up? 32 00:01:23,792 --> 00:01:24,876 Set up for what? 33 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,169 For picture day. 34 00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,464 -Ava. -Janine. 35 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:31,049 -Ava. -Janine. 36 00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:33,260 Ava, this man says he's here for picture day. 37 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,636 Okay, well, who the hell is he? 38 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,638 -[all] The photographer. -Photographer. 39 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:38,015 Oh, damn. 40 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:41,018 Ava, how could you forget to inform us about this? 41 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,894 I forget so many things all the time 42 00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:45,647 and it� it just falls through the cracks and then it's fine. 43 00:01:45,731 --> 00:01:48,483 Oh, let's see. I've forgotten to hand out paychecks. 44 00:01:48,567 --> 00:01:49,818 Which, victimless crime. 45 00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:52,529 Teachers' birthdays. Who cares? 46 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:56,116 Oh, and I forgot to follow through on the HVAC fixes at the start of the year. 47 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,702 But everybody grew a lot from that. 48 00:01:58,785 --> 00:01:59,995 So you're welcome. 49 00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:01,330 Okay, there is no way 50 00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,583 that we're gonna make a bunch of soaking wet kids presentable in time for this. 51 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:06,835 Yeah, could you please come back another day? 52 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:10,672 Oh. Yeah, that's what you guys asked me back in September, 53 00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,758 and now here I am. 54 00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:14,676 This is it, today or nothing. 55 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,179 [thunderclap] 56 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:21,224 Well, looks like we have no choice except to make it work. 57 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:24,728 So, everybody, grab your hair ties, your ballies, 58 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,522 your Vaseline, and let's snap to it. 59 00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:29,733 -[Melissa] All right. -Oh! Love that. That's great. 60 00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,860 I'm soaked. 61 00:02:31,943 --> 00:02:34,696 [Barbara] Oh! Aw. 62 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:37,324 Oh, well, spin around a few times, maybe that'll help. 63 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:42,079 [Janine] No, I think that's just gonna make him dizzy and not even drip dry. 64 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,790 -All right. Well, it was a thought. -No� Yeah, no. You okay? 65 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:47,501 There we go. Lord! 66 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,753 The rain really did a number on these children. 67 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,672 Jesus be a glam squad, yes. 68 00:02:51,755 --> 00:02:53,840 What we need Jesus to do is turn water into� 69 00:02:54,925 --> 00:02:56,343 well, not water. Yeah. 70 00:02:56,426 --> 00:03:01,181 Ms. Teagues, why are we even doing this? 71 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:03,475 Yeah, we don't wanna do picture day. 72 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:06,520 What? No. Guys, picture day is great. 73 00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,731 It's a day that we celebrate who you are in this moment, 74 00:03:09,815 --> 00:03:13,860 and this singular photo will be a memory that lasts a lifetime. 75 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,196 -[Barbara] Mmm. -Boo. 76 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:19,074 I got to get the rest of the primary grades done before lunch, 77 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,284 so let's just knock out your teacher pictures now. 78 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:22,369 -Huh? -No, wait, wait. 79 00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,162 Now, I thought that I would have some time, 80 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,872 you know, to get myself together. 81 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:28,250 Yeah, and I thought I'd have a chance to really do something 82 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,334 to make this outfit pop. 83 00:03:29,418 --> 00:03:31,670 I was thinking of doing something like� like this. 84 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,338 -Like, is this� -Yeah. 85 00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:34,881 -No. -Oh, no. 86 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:36,675 [photographer] You guys look� 87 00:03:38,427 --> 00:03:42,556 Oh, let's just take the picture, huh? Let's "Git-R-Done." 88 00:03:42,639 --> 00:03:44,141 Larry the Cable Guy. 89 00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,309 -Just one-one-one second. -Smile! 90 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:49,729 Hey. So, um, I didn't have time to practice my smile. 91 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:51,022 You practice your smile? 92 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,816 I never learned how to smile on demand. 93 00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,527 You're my boyfriend. How did I not know this about you? 94 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:57,904 -I hide it really well. -Oh. 95 00:03:57,988 --> 00:03:59,281 -Um, how's this? -Okay. 96 00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:04,369 Oh� Oh, don't-don't show them. 97 00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,329 -Yikes. -[Janine] Um� 98 00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,873 That is good. 99 00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:08,957 -Right? -Yes. 100 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,041 -Yeah, right? -Good. Yeah. 101 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,752 -I remember Tyra said it's in the eyes. -So happy we binged Top Model. 102 00:04:12,836 --> 00:04:14,671 -Okay, I'll do that. -Okay. Okay. 103 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:19,926 Ooh, maybe a-- maybe a little less, Gregory. 104 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,136 Much less. 105 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:22,929 [Janine] Wanna sit down? 106 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,265 -[Barbara] Gregory. -That's a ch-choice. 107 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,725 Slow down. 108 00:04:26,808 --> 00:04:28,685 Oh. How did your classes' picture day go? 109 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,438 [sighs] I think we got them halfway presentable. 110 00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:33,523 Meaning we were only able to dry the top half of the kids, 111 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,400 so they will be "mermaiding" it for the rest of the day. 112 00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,860 Aw, whatever. 113 00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,905 You're supposed to look awkward on picture day. It's a canon event. 114 00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,072 Well, in that way, it'll be nice. 115 00:04:41,156 --> 00:04:44,743 The day we got rained out on picture day, but at least we did it together. 116 00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,578 Clear out the area. I'm making a scene, y'all. 117 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:48,497 You changed? 118 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,582 Don't be mad at me 'cause you wear the same outfit every day 119 00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:51,792 like a cartoon character. 120 00:04:51,875 --> 00:04:53,543 No, I don't. [scoffs] 121 00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,879 But if I did, I'd be like Ms. Frizzle. 122 00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:59,090 Or� [gasps] �Patti Mayonnaise. Or Phil and Lil's lesbian mom-- 123 00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:00,634 So you did know this was today. 124 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:04,262 No, I have a closet in my office and my own equipment at the ready, 125 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,056 and the gym has the best lighting. 126 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,350 It's not my fault y'all don't have contingency plans. 127 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,519 Oh, I got contingency plans. 128 00:05:10,602 --> 00:05:12,896 You wouldn't believe the amount of contingency plans. 129 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,232 Not for this, but, you know� 130 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,445 Yo, y'all, we got sloppy joes for lunch today. 131 00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:24,199 Sloppy joes? Our kids take pictures after lunch. 132 00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:25,992 Yeah, I can't have them all "sloppy-joed." 133 00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:28,537 They don't have the hand-eye coordination to pull off a clean joe. 134 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,913 Why would they serve that today? 135 00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:35,502 Uh, Ava, why are they staring at you like that? 136 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:37,671 Ooh, they playing dirty. 137 00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,383 Before you can work in this kitchen, there's two books you need to read: 138 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,760 The Joy of Cooking and The Art of War. 139 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:47,097 Yeah, so I came up with a plan to utilize the leverage we have. 140 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,015 I got that idea from The Art of War. 141 00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,559 Never made it to The Joy of Cooking. 142 00:05:50,642 --> 00:05:53,353 You "net-heads" trying to sabotage picture day by serving sloppy joes. 143 00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:54,813 I don't think you can say that. 144 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:56,273 What, "net-heads" or "sloppy joes"? 145 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,440 Just give us the mats. 146 00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:00,026 And the kids don't get sloppy, Joe. 147 00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,280 Okay, huddle up. Here's the situation. 148 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,949 Roll over, you're dead. They won. 149 00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:09,202 No, no, do not let them ruin picture day with their collective action. 150 00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:10,537 Oh, my God. What am I? 151 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,497 Oh, what, so I cave on the mats and what's next? 152 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,374 Non-slip clogs for the entire kitchen staff? 153 00:06:14,457 --> 00:06:16,167 Do you really wanna deal with the parents again 154 00:06:16,251 --> 00:06:18,211 when the kids bring home photos with tomato sauce 155 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,504 splattered all over their shirts? 156 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:20,839 Hey, we use ketchup. 157 00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:23,842 [gasps] You sons of bitches. 158 00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:26,845 Ugh. 159 00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:31,099 Ugh, fine, you can have your stupid floor mats. 160 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,602 -Wait, really? -Yeah. Now get this slop out of here. 161 00:06:33,685 --> 00:06:35,270 We didn't think you'd cave so soon. 162 00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,188 So we don't have a backup lunch. 163 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:38,899 Then no deal. 164 00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,191 We could just serve them buns. 165 00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:42,193 [Jacob sighs] 166 00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:44,154 I mean, maybe it'll be fine. 167 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:45,822 These are the older kids we're talking about. 168 00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:46,907 [Melissa] Yeah. 169 00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:52,829 I think I have some Red Lobster bibs in my purse. 170 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,290 Yeah, I think I got a Tide pen for that kid. 171 00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,208 Y'all better hurry the hell up. 172 00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,960 -It's picture day. -Um... 173 00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,005 -[camera clicks] -Great. 174 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:05,258 Okay, Mr. Hill's class, you're up. 175 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,260 Okay, guys. Richie. Richie, you're up. 176 00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:17,228 [whispers] What's wrong with him? Is it the stain? 177 00:07:17,312 --> 00:07:19,564 Nothing's wrong with him. He's having a great day. 178 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:22,275 [photographer] Okay. Next up. 179 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,991 [whispers] Chloe, smile. 180 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,201 I don't want to. 181 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,121 [photographer] Next up. 182 00:07:35,747 --> 00:07:37,624 All right, someone else, please. 183 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,713 Okay, stop. Hold it. Halt. 184 00:07:43,797 --> 00:07:46,549 [stammers] We need to retake all of those. They need to smile. 185 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,843 Nobody smiles in pictures anymore. 186 00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,553 What do you� What? What? What do you mean? 187 00:07:50,637 --> 00:07:52,013 It's so fake. 188 00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:55,350 Okay, but it's school pictures, guys. You're supposed to smile. 189 00:07:55,433 --> 00:07:58,853 Aren't you always telling us to question the things we're supposed to do? 190 00:07:58,937 --> 00:08:01,731 Yeah, but that's when you're fighting oppression. 191 00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:03,775 White man telling me what to do? 192 00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:05,276 Feels like oppression to me. 193 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,864 Okay, you guys are gonna want nice pictures for future TBTs 194 00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,158 because I assume that will come back around again. 195 00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:14,077 Smiling is for the oppressors. 196 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,955 None of the people you teach us about are smiling in their photos. 197 00:08:17,038 --> 00:08:19,416 I don't remember Martin Luther King Jr. cheesing in pictures. 198 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,918 Yeah, he said, "I have a dream." 199 00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:23,503 Not, "I have a smile." 200 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:26,756 Well, maybe Dr. King frowned so that you can smile. 201 00:08:27,257 --> 00:08:28,883 I'm gonna tell my mom you said that. 202 00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,218 Please don't. 203 00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:32,554 -Just take the picture. -Yeah. Here we go. 204 00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:34,139 Yeah. 205 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:38,768 -[Barbara] Okay. -Oh, no. Our photos are up. 206 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,103 Let's go take a look. 207 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,772 Hey, that was a rough day last week. Buckle up. 208 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,607 Well, maybe it won't be that bad. 209 00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:45,734 [Janine groans] 210 00:08:46,985 --> 00:08:48,361 Oh, my God. Look at her. 211 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,238 [Melissa] No, that's what she wants us to do. 212 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:51,740 -[Janine] Mm-hmm. -[Jacob] Wow. 213 00:08:51,823 --> 00:08:53,825 -Talk about a Portrait of a Lady on Fire. -[Melissa sighs] 214 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,619 Oh, my God. The one day I wear a bland top. 215 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:57,996 Ugh! Laundry day. 216 00:08:58,079 --> 00:08:59,873 Am I doing the Anthony Mackie smile? 217 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:03,251 I'm wearing my mascara as blush. That's great. 218 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:04,544 [Janine sighs] 219 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,338 -Oh. -Um� 220 00:09:07,881 --> 00:09:09,007 Barbara. 221 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,175 Yes, sweetheart? 222 00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,926 Why do you look so amazing? 223 00:09:12,802 --> 00:09:14,054 Born that way, dear. 224 00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,347 Born awfully smooth. 225 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,516 Ugh. [chuckles] 226 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,143 Y'all look tired as hell. 227 00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:23,229 Except for Barbara, who seems to be aging backwards. 228 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,398 Y'all need to step your game up. 229 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:33,907 Barb, what the hell? You look flawless. 230 00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:37,911 Why, thank you. Brought to you by deep sleep and lots of water. 231 00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:41,081 I have known you for six years, and I've never seen you drink water once. 232 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,541 Yeah, Barb, we all looked particularly rough that day, 233 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,503 and that roughness is not reflected in your photo. 234 00:09:46,586 --> 00:09:48,963 -Well, what do you want me to say? -The truth. 235 00:09:49,047 --> 00:09:52,383 As somebody who takes hydration very seriously-- 64-Ounce Club-- 236 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:55,345 I can attest that it doesn't result in a soft focus filter. 237 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,805 [Janine] Yeah, or a vignette border. 238 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,724 -Or an added sparkle in your eye. -Okay, fine. 239 00:09:59,808 --> 00:10:03,937 Taylor just happens to be quite gifted at photo airbrushing 240 00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:08,399 on a phone app called Mirage your Visage. 241 00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:11,402 So she put my photo through it, and� 242 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,446 That being said, she hardly did a thing. 243 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:16,032 Fixed a flyaway, simple stuff. 244 00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,326 Come on, Barb. Your hair was like� 245 00:10:18,409 --> 00:10:20,286 Not for me to comment on. 246 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,454 Exactly. 247 00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,957 Now, if you will excuse me. 248 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,168 -[Gregory scoffs] -[Melissa chuckles] 249 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,338 -Okay, she's being ridiculous, right? -[Melissa] Yes. 250 00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:33,091 Because we don't need to put our photos through some app. 251 00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,717 It's fine. It's not a big deal. 252 00:10:34,801 --> 00:10:37,679 Exactly. And who cares about these photos anyway? 253 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,722 If anything, doing all that makes it look silly. 254 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,977 [laughing] Yeah, I mean, come on, she's backlit, for God's sakes. 255 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:48,064 Ah, Barb. Barbetty, Barb, Barb, Barb. Silly. 256 00:10:50,108 --> 00:10:51,401 -Morning. -Morning. 257 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:52,777 Now that you've got your mats, 258 00:10:52,861 --> 00:10:55,446 I expect there will be a little extra glaze on my cinnamon buns? 259 00:10:55,530 --> 00:10:58,741 Of course. Hey, Wendell, do we have that principal special ready? 260 00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,451 I most certainly do. 261 00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,206 -Make it yourself. -Bon app�tit. 262 00:11:07,458 --> 00:11:08,960 So, you gonna eat that or not? 263 00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,921 I don't know what the hell that was about. 264 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,424 Kitchen crew must be a little raw after our negotiations. 265 00:11:14,507 --> 00:11:16,926 I'll give them a day. Hell, I'll give them a day and a half. 266 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,095 That's just the type of tyrant that I am. 267 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,555 [both laughing] 268 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,142 Wearing that when she runs fashion club is crazy. 269 00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,226 I'm embarrassed for her. 270 00:11:25,310 --> 00:11:27,937 Yeah, I heard those who can't do, teach. 271 00:11:28,021 --> 00:11:29,772 Uh, I can do, yeah. 272 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:32,275 Would have done something whimsical with the shoulders, had I known. 273 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,110 Yeah, she dresses great, y'all. All right? 274 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:35,195 -We just didn't know. -Yeah. 275 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,072 What's your excuse, Mr. Eddie? First time trying to smile? 276 00:11:38,156 --> 00:11:40,116 [student chuckling] 277 00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,494 Wouldn't be my first time giving somebody detention, I'll tell you that. 278 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:47,332 [chuckles] Whoa. I look dope. 279 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,668 Same. Didn't one of you teachers start a modelling club? 280 00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,879 'Cause I think I just ended it. Ooh. 281 00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:55,632 Okay, you guys do not look dope. You look-- you look mad. 282 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,509 Oh. So our neutral face looks like anger to you? 283 00:11:58,593 --> 00:12:00,178 What? No, no. 284 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,097 You're hitting a microaggression record this month, Mr. C. 285 00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:05,850 [chuckling] Okay. I am not, and stop the count. 286 00:12:05,934 --> 00:12:07,852 No, not like that. Uh� 287 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:10,688 Guys, smiling in photos is nice, okay? 288 00:12:10,772 --> 00:12:13,858 It's sweet and� and it's a signal to the world that-- 289 00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,568 That you have food in your teeth? 290 00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,695 Your smile has more spinach than teeth. 291 00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:20,281 That's impossible. I didn't even have spinach that day, okay? 292 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,325 I had an arugula salad� 293 00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:23,743 [students laugh] 294 00:12:24,535 --> 00:12:28,331 It's worse than they said. How did I not see that earlier? 295 00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:31,167 And why did nobody mention it? Rude. "Arudegula." 296 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:33,920 Okay, look at mine. I feel like the eyes are following me. 297 00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:35,922 Are they freaking following me? 298 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,132 It's so annoying that we have to have these up here. 299 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:39,676 Yeah, but come on, who cares? 300 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,928 It's not like the kids could respect you any less. 301 00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,097 So one time they threw ketchup packets at him 302 00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,642 because they said he looked like a French fry� [laughing] 303 00:12:47,725 --> 00:12:49,519 �dipped in ketchup. 304 00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,479 [laughing, snorting] 305 00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,856 Because he freaking does, okay? 306 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:58,278 So they threw ketchup packets at him. 307 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,406 And, bam, one hits him, like, bam, right in the face, right? 308 00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:04,659 And it just busts open, ketchup everywhere. 309 00:13:04,742 --> 00:13:08,079 The kid really had to whip it because they don't just bust open like that. 310 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:12,166 The kid had a can and he just� Bam! 311 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,459 [mimics explosion] 312 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,463 Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. She� 313 00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:20,800 -She photoshopped herself a new shirt. -[gasps] 314 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,803 Yup, I would have remembered those shoulder pads. 315 00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,055 [scoffs] First Barbara, now Janine. 316 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,850 Looking like a Mighty Duck. Mmm. 317 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:33,730 Hey, Barb, listen. I got this cousin, Frankie-- boy, he's ugly as sin, right? 318 00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,149 He fell out of the ugly tree, hit every branch on the way down. 319 00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,650 He walks in the room, babies start crying. 320 00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,653 Anyway, he's trying to get back on the dating apps and fix his pictures. 321 00:13:40,737 --> 00:13:42,530 I told him he looked fine. I was lying. 322 00:13:42,613 --> 00:13:45,658 So anyway, I vaguely remembered that you had this app-- I don't know, 323 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,994 maybe I'm making it up in my head-- to fix pictures? 324 00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,079 Again, this isn't for me. It's for Frankie. 325 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,832 Melissa, would you like to fix your photo? 326 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:55,835 -I would. -It's called Mirage your Visage. 327 00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:59,130 You can find it on your application store if you know your password. 328 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,214 [Melissa] I know my password. 329 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:03,259 Well, good for you, 'cause I sure didn't. Mm-mmm. 330 00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,470 Did I add too many gaps to her teeth, or is it hilarious? 331 00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:08,765 -Hilarious. She looks crazy. -I know. 332 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,850 -[both laugh] -Are we making fun of their photos? 333 00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,143 Wait, I wrote some down. 334 00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:14,562 "Janine's shoulders are so dumb, she should�" 335 00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:18,441 "Sup, y'all, I'm Principal Buttface"? 336 00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,650 Well, I'll be. 337 00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:22,945 I knew a Charlie Buttface in dental school. Any relation? 338 00:14:24,906 --> 00:14:25,907 Clean that off. 339 00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,663 [Janine] Okay, first off, I think I looked great, 340 00:14:32,747 --> 00:14:35,708 and if it's universally liked, then it's not fashion. [chuckles] 341 00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:39,796 But everyone else is feeling insecure, which made me feel insecure, 342 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,756 so I switched it. Again. 343 00:14:41,839 --> 00:14:43,591 [Jacob] Of course I am� 344 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:46,177 Hey, what do you think you're doing? 345 00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:47,303 I was dusting. 346 00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,347 What the freckle? 347 00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:53,017 Look, I just got rid of the circles under my eyes, 348 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:55,061 and then my cheeks were feeling a little naked, 349 00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:56,354 so I added a bit of pizzazz. 350 00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,023 Janine, you are better than this. Come on. 351 00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:01,526 Uh, are you better than this? All of a sudden, you got a smoke eye. 352 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:03,778 -[Janine] Smoky eye. -That's what I said, smoke eye. 353 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,530 -Smoky� -You changed your picture too. 354 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:07,824 Or do your cheekbones just photograph higher? 355 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,910 Look at this guy. What, all of a sudden, you flossed? 356 00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,995 [Jacob] I just restored how I naturally look, okay? 357 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,373 Those are my real-life bare-naked teeth. 358 00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,375 -No. -I didn't do what you and SZA did. 359 00:15:17,458 --> 00:15:20,253 [gasps] Excuse me, your teeth have never been that white. 360 00:15:20,336 --> 00:15:22,588 Your mouth could guide ships in from a storm. 361 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,090 Y'all, this is getting out of hand. 362 00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:25,758 Don't pretend like you didn't do anything. 363 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,469 -You obviously made your ears bigger. -Wha� I didn't. 364 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,638 [Melissa] Your eyes, you fixed them to make them the same size. 365 00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:33,224 What's wrong with my eyes? I fixed my smile. 366 00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:34,809 -Aha! -Come on, Gregory. 367 00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:37,353 That is still barely a smirk. 368 00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:41,399 And whatever happened to embracing natural beauty 369 00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,943 -and enhancing what God gave you? -Excuse me? Excuse me? 370 00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:45,069 You started it, Barb. 371 00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,488 You look like Cybill Shepherd� 372 00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:50,324 �Vaseline over the entire picture. 373 00:15:50,408 --> 00:15:52,076 [Gregory] All too smooth. It's all smooth. 374 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,412 Dang. All of our teachers look bad. 375 00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:57,206 Shame you couldn't just stick with a real photo like I did. 376 00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,333 Did you guys get pranked? 377 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,502 No, we did not get pranked, okay? 378 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:06,424 We did some light retouching because we had been through so much that morning. 379 00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,925 -That's right. -Yes. Rough day. 380 00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:09,927 I don't like the way I look. 381 00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:11,846 Should I change mine too, Ms. Teagues? 382 00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:14,223 -Oh, no, baby. -I� 383 00:16:22,064 --> 00:16:23,900 I want to say something unpopular. 384 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:24,984 When do you not? 385 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,903 I think we should put back our original photos. 386 00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,989 -What? -No, you looked all� What would� 387 00:16:30,072 --> 00:16:33,201 What would putting a terrible picture back up of yourself do? 388 00:16:33,284 --> 00:16:34,869 Hey, I look great from the nose up. 389 00:16:34,952 --> 00:16:37,663 Yeah, but they know we've already changed the photographs. 390 00:16:37,747 --> 00:16:39,415 They can't unsee the old ones. 391 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,918 Right, but what are we teaching them? 392 00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,377 To be proactive. 393 00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,046 -To problem-solve. -[Barbara] Mmm. 394 00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,757 That looks are everything and the sooner they learn that, the better. 395 00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:51,385 No. We're teaching them that they should be constantly chasing perfection, 396 00:16:51,469 --> 00:16:52,845 and that is an endless pursuit. 397 00:16:52,929 --> 00:16:55,181 You better speak for yourself. I'm a dime piece. 398 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,557 No, she's right. 399 00:16:56,641 --> 00:16:59,518 We can't teach them that the way they look will never be good enough. 400 00:16:59,602 --> 00:17:02,480 Oh, okay. To be clear, I do think I look good enough. 401 00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,857 It's just the picture that sucked. 402 00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:08,527 I think we need to show them that you can be happy with how you look. 403 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,988 Well, I think we've already burned that bridge. 404 00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,574 Well, we did with those photos. 405 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,959 He stalling until he can think of something. 406 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,085 He's right. 407 00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:25,628 But I've got it now. 408 00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,883 Hey, did y'all take the sugar out of the teachers' lounge? 409 00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,094 Foodstuff does fall under our jurisdiction. 410 00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,971 Okay, I've had enough. 411 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,806 I let you throw your little temper tantrum. 412 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:38,516 I let you deface my photo. 413 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,310 And I even bought your little dumb standing mats. So what's your deal now? 414 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,021 You think it's all good because of the mats? 415 00:17:44,105 --> 00:17:46,315 -It's bigger than that. -You don't respect us. 416 00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,317 This is a school. We're all disrespected. 417 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,361 -Maybe by the kids. -And by the district. 418 00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:53,281 And our own families. But by our coworkers? 419 00:17:53,364 --> 00:17:54,991 I thought we was in this together. 420 00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:58,286 Yet, for some reason, the cafeteria staff is never included in picture day. 421 00:17:58,369 --> 00:18:00,663 [scoffs] Why would you get your picture taken? 422 00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,206 We don't include you in the yearbook. 423 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,291 I'm gonna kill her. 424 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,377 Y'all think we just back here microwaving nuggets, 425 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,838 but every day I make special gluten-free and dairy-free meals 426 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:09,922 for the kids with allergies. 427 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:13,676 We are the first people in this school, making breakfast for these children. 428 00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,095 We care about them just as much as their teachers do. 429 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:18,264 And it'd be nice if you guys would notice that. 430 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:22,810 I get it. Thank you, 431 00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,437 guy Shanae. 432 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,231 -Wendell. -�dell. I know. 433 00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,942 You think I don't know his name? 434 00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:31,027 Thank you, Randall. 435 00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:35,406 Look, no one is more underappreciated than me, so I get it. 436 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:38,409 I'm not gonna buy them anything else, but that was a pretty low lift. 437 00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:41,787 Also, they were getting way too close to realizing their power, 438 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:42,955 and I can't have that. 439 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,457 [Barbara] Aw, look at that. 440 00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:47,001 Wow, Ms. Teagues. That outfit looks fantastic. 441 00:18:47,084 --> 00:18:49,754 Yeah, very Bring It On, but also very you. 442 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,881 That's the best compliment I've ever gotten. 443 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:53,633 That means a lot coming from you two. 444 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:54,759 I think you look adorable. 445 00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:58,471 -Me? Look at your cute little face. -Nah. 446 00:18:58,554 --> 00:19:00,014 -All right, it's pretty cute. -[Janine] Mm-hmm. 447 00:19:00,097 --> 00:19:01,974 [student] Mrs. Howard, is that you? 448 00:19:02,058 --> 00:19:03,559 Why, yes, it is. 449 00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,394 But how? 450 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,229 Oh, thank you very much. [chuckles] 451 00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,023 You are absolutely precious. 452 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,483 Aw, thank you. 453 00:19:10,566 --> 00:19:12,485 And look at you. You look so cool. 454 00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:15,237 Yeah, 'cause I was. Never had an awkward phase. 455 00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:16,947 Make some room, y'all. 456 00:19:19,742 --> 00:19:21,077 -Oh. -What is this now? 457 00:19:21,744 --> 00:19:24,455 Looks like a couple of Bon App�tit models to me. 458 00:19:24,538 --> 00:19:26,415 So you hired a fancy photographer for the kitchen staff, 459 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,334 but you won't hire one for us teachers? 460 00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,796 Well, if you helped out the students even a fraction of the amount 461 00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:34,590 that the kitchen staff does and brought me my morning cinnamon buns, 462 00:19:34,674 --> 00:19:35,925 I might have considered. 463 00:19:39,470 --> 00:19:42,473 -All right, go ahead. Let me have it. -[students laughing] 464 00:19:42,556 --> 00:19:46,477 Dang, Mr. C, you didn't tell us you were Millie Bobby Brown's twin. 465 00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,188 Yeah, what was school like in the Upside Down? 466 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:52,733 Gotcha. See, I knew you could smile for a photo. 467 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:56,028 I am going to frame this and hang it in the classroom. 468 00:20:00,825 --> 00:20:01,867 So what do you want to do later? 469 00:20:01,951 --> 00:20:03,452 What's wrong with my ears? 470 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:04,537 What? 471 00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:07,748 The picture day picture. Everyone was saying that it was� 472 00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:11,377 No. No, no, no. Listen to me, your ears are perfect, okay? 473 00:20:11,460 --> 00:20:12,962 People wish they had your ears. 474 00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:14,296 Who? 475 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,674 Alfred E. Neuman. 476 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:17,883 What class is he in? 477 00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,468 He� Never mind. 478 00:20:19,552 --> 00:20:20,678 And my smile? 479 00:20:21,929 --> 00:20:23,889 That could use some work, I'm not gonna lie to you. 480 00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:26,434 But maybe we can practice. Okay? 481 00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,561 Look, let me take a picture of you. 482 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:30,479 We can practice with taking pictures. 483 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,231 -Okay. -Okay. So� 484 00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:33,983 Say, "Cheese." 485 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,068 -[grunting] -"Cheese." Like, "Cheese." 486 00:20:38,529 --> 00:20:42,074 You gotta smile from your diaphragm. Trust me. 487 00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,535 You gotta start way down here. 488 00:20:50,499 --> 00:20:51,584 It's worth a try. 489 00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:56,839 [exhales] 490 00:21:00,676 --> 00:21:02,011 [sighs] 491 00:21:03,637 --> 00:21:05,890 -That was amazing. Wow. -Yeah? 492 00:21:05,973 --> 00:21:07,475 [Janine] Yeah. [giggles] 493 00:21:07,558 --> 00:21:09,852 Now we just need to do something about those ears. 494 00:21:10,895 --> 00:21:12,271 Are they big or are they small? 495 00:21:12,354 --> 00:21:13,773 Let's put it this way. 496 00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:17,943 Either Paul Stanley or David Letterman would be really jealous of you. 497 00:21:18,027 --> 00:21:19,403 You listen to Kiss? 498 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:20,946 Sometimes. 499 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:23,115 Okay. Rad. 500 00:21:23,165 --> 00:21:27,715 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0